love psychology/love diagnosis/love truth

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Personal Space and Gender Relations

Animals have their own territories, and fiercely attack when intruders enter. Humans are similar, possessing their own territorial spaces and reacting to them in various ways.

For example, people sitting on a park bench usually sit some distance away from others. This is because they don't want their personal space invaded. There is a space belonging to each individual around their body.

The study of territorial zones is called proxemics. According to proxemics, the territorial zones we are usually conscious of are four: intimate distance, personal distance, social distance, and public distance.

Intimate Distance: Signifying a Special Relationship

Intimate distance is closer than personal distance, almost to the point of physical contact. Between men and women, this distance is only permitted between spouses or lovers. Another example is a small child clinging closely to a parent. In addition to these highly intimate relationships, intimate distance also includes the distance people maintain when crowded together on a rush-hour train or elevator. In trains and elevators, while maintaining intimate distance, we try to avoid physical contact with others and avert our gaze to avoid eye contact. Touching or staring intently at a stranger invades their personal space and causes discomfort.

If men and women without a romantic relationship maintain this distance, it will cause confusion. For example, if a male boss, intending to show friendliness, puts his arm around a female employee or touches her, the woman may perceive this as sexual harassment, even if the man only intended to express intimacy. Many men are insensitive to this; this is particularly true for middle-aged men.

Conversely, if a woman approaches a man who is not her lover and maintains intimate distance, it may be interpreted as a sexual advance from her.

Personal distance is a distance where occasional physical contact is acceptable between two people. This distance is maintained with friends and acquaintances. Intimate distance is closer than personal distance, and therefore only permissible with special individuals.

Conversely, some teachings advise men to invade a woman's personal space and maintain intimate distance to seduce her. While some women may be seduced by this, many others will find such a tactic infuriating, thinking, "What kind of man is this?" Overstepping personal space can be a risky move.

Visuals and Gaze Play the Most Important Role in Communication

Generally, encroaching on someone's personal space signifies a special relationship or an act of aggression. People tend to get physically close, with their bodies touching, not only with intimate partners but also with those they are arguing with.

Social distance encompasses relationships ranging from those between customers and salespeople, clients and businesspeople, to those seen among participants at formal parties or seminars. Even at casual parties, if people don't know each other, they will maintain this distance.

In such cases, the only point of contact is visual. This is a distance where gaze plays the most important role in communication.

Therefore, when getting closer to someone you've just met, you must skillfully utilize communication at this distance. Attractive appearance is key to capturing someone's interest at this distance. Furthermore, at this distance, a gaze can lead to the beginning of a romance. Meeting eyes is the first step towards getting closer.

The Distance at Which Relationships Deepen: Can the Approach to Intimate Distance Reveal Fickleness?

Relationships progress from social distance to personal distance, and then to intimate distance. First, you attract the other person's interest with your first impression, and then let them know you're interested through eye contact. With eye contact, you can subtly approach each other. Once you reach personal distance, conversation begins.

Crossing the personal distance threshold for the first time requires courage. Entering intimate distance requires tacit agreement or the other person's permission.

If someone readily touches your shoulder or arm, you might want to be cautious. They might do this to everyone. Some people, due to personality or habit, tend to approach intimate distance with people they don't know well. Such individuals may be relatively loose in their romantic relationships, fickle, able to date multiple people, starved for affection, excessively needy, or lonely people who crave affection.

As for the fourth distance, public distance, this is the greatest distance at which we feel a sense of territoriality. Examples range from the distance between a teacher lecturing and their students to the distance between a politician giving a street speech and the crowd.

In the Corona era, it has become difficult to move from personal distance to intimate distance. Approaching someone you don't know well and unnecessarily shortening the distance can often have negative consequences. Therefore, eye contact?meeting eyes?has become more important than ever. If half your face is hidden behind a mask, don't let your guard down. Strengthen your facial muscles, including the orbicularis oculi muscle around your eyes, and project a positive expression from under your mask, directing a lively gaze towards the other person.