love psychology/love diagnosis/love truth

• koishinri

Humanity & Interpersonal Relationships
Cases 8-14

Case 8: He says, "That's common sense," but you don't think it's common sense.

◇What is "common sense"?

It's related to one's upbringing, culture, and values. He grew up in a world where that's considered common sense, and he lives in an environment where that's the norm.

It's probably so commonplace to him that he becomes critical of those who don't understand or can't do it.

If you share similar notions of "common sense," you likely have similar values, increasing the chances of a successful relationship.

If your understandings of "common sense" are too different, the relationship is unlikely to last. Therefore, if his "common sense" doesn't seem like common sense to you, your compatibility is questionable.

◇However, if you can discuss these differences and accept them with phrases like, "I see," "I didn't know that," or "That's completely different," your relationship will improve.

Respecting each other's "common sense" and making compromises will lead to a strong relationship.

However, this can be difficult. Deeply held values are not easily changed.

Case 9: He never apologizes after an argument.

◇He's stubborn and egotistical. If you always have to back down to maintain peace, the relationship isn't beneficial for you. Your compatibility is poor.

If you constantly watch his mood and try to please him, your self-esteem will suffer. You should end this relationship.

◇However, if you're also stubborn and don't apologize easily, you might be well-matched. However, stubborn couples often fail to maintain a good relationship and may drift apart.

If you're a stubborn woman, taking the initiative to compromise cutely after an argument could improve your relationship.

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Case 10: His jokes have hurt you before. Even when he says, "It was a joke," afterward, you can't laugh.

◇He's inconsiderate. He's probably insensitive. You shouldn't date someone who makes jokes that hurt you. Compatibility: △.

◇However, the reason for the △ rating is that if you are exceptionally sensitive and he didn't mean any harm, but you get hurt easily, then you might be the more difficult person for him to handle.

◇Reflect on yourself.

Case 11: He got really angry once because of a joke you made.

◇A man who gets furious over jokes, yours or others', is dangerous. He can't control his emotions.

He will hurt you. He may also cause trouble in various places. Dating him will be difficult for you. Compatibility: △.

◇Be careful, because some men who get angry easily also resort to violence. If you experience dating violence (domestic violence), you will be the one who gets hurt.

You shouldn't date him. “I hit you because I love you” is a lie. Such men simply cannot control their rage.

Case 12: He sometimes resorts to violence when he says you're "annoying."

Break up with him immediately. Absolutely not. XXX.

Case 13: He often tells you stories about his childhood.

◇He probably wants you to know and understand him better. You seem to have a good chance of maintaining a good relationship with him. Compatibility is ○.

It's a good idea for you to share stories from your own childhood as well. Talking about popular trends or items from your childhood could lead to more common ground, allowing both of you to be more carefree and increasing intimacy.

Being able to share not only happy memories but also difficult experiences will deepen the connection between you.

Case 14: He occasionally asks you for money.

◇If it's just for small change when you're having tea or a meal together, it's not a problem.

◇However, if he asks you to lend him money or pay for his purchases, he's likely somewhat irresponsible.

He's taking advantage of you. Some men like this treat their partners like a mother figure, possibly due to their upbringing. If you keep lending him money, he'll continue to rely on you. Being in a relationship with him will only cause you losses. Compatibility is △.

If you still want to be with him, firmly tell him to pay for himself. If he stops asking after that, it's okay.

◇You should avoid dating a man who casually asks for 5,000 yen or 10,000 yen, let alone 1,000 or 2,000 yen. He's irresponsible with money and likely irresponsible in other aspects of his life.

Some men borrow money from women and then dismiss smaller amounts as "small change," acting as if they're handling large sums of money. Some women might find this attractive, but living with such a man will lead to financial instability.

Men who want to make easy money are also not recommended. If he doesn't work properly, it will be troublesome. You'll be the one struggling.

If you have a similar financial mindset, you might be compatible, but your life will likely be unstable.

◇Settle financial matters clearly. Understanding his financial sense is crucial in determining whether he's suitable to live with.

◇If he asks you for a large sum of money, such as hundreds of thousands of yen, you should absolutely avoid him. He might see women as a source of money, or it could be a marriage scam. XXX.

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