love psychology/love diagnosis/love truth

• koishinri

Even if you can't be physically close, let's connect online

In the psychology of encounters, a well-known phenomenon is the ”mere-exposure effect”.

We may find ourselves developing a fondness for a celebrity who appears on TV daily, even if they aren't our typical type, and become fans without realizing it. We might also find ourselves preferring a song simply because we've heard it repeatedly.

Repeated exposure to something tends to create positive feelings. This is what is called the ”mere-exposure effect.” We tend to like people we see often.

According to an experiment, subjects showed favoritism towards people they had seen repeatedly, even if they had never spoken to them. Furthermore, the more frequent the encounters, the stronger the positive feelings.

If the person is attractive, this feeling could develop into romantic love. Many people have stories of falling for a delivery person, a convenience store clerk, or someone else they see frequently. Conversely, we sometimes hear stories of people who weren't initially interested in someone but were asked out and ended up in a relationship.

Based on the mere-exposure effect, for those who are still single, there might be potential partners among the people they see occasionally, rather than among strangers. Your future lover or spouse might be nearby.

At work, school, or along your commute, you might notice someone you see occasionally who seems to notice you too. Or perhaps you've been seeing someone more frequently lately without any particular reason. This could mean you're strongly attracted to them, or they might be attracted to you and trying to encounter you at times and places where they might see you. If you want to get closer to this person, you might consider taking the initiative and saying hello.

Do you dislike people you dislike even more?

However, there is also the opposite effect of mere exposure. While seeing someone's face frequently increases liking, the opposite can also be true. For example, many people have experienced disliking a celebrity they initially didn't dislike much, but increasingly disliking them as they appear on TV more frequently. Also, if you already dislike a celebrity, seeing them occasionally might make you dislike them even more.

If someone you dislike keeps appearing before your eyes, you will dislike that person even more. You might try to avoid looking at them.

Mere-exposure doesn't work?! Encounters in the Corona Era

Since the Corona era, hand-to-hand delivery has decreased, store counters are covered with vinyl sheets, and opportunities to be close to people have decreased. Furthermore, with masks and face shields covering most of the face, it's difficult to see each other's faces. Even if our eyes meet, it's hard to tell what kind of person they are.

Let's Try Online Casual Encounters

Nowadays, a place where you can comfortably see each other's faces is online gatherings using Zoom or similar services. Online mixers, online dating, and online matchmaking are likely to become more popular. It's a good idea to participate in these gatherings occasionally, even if you're shy. Even if we continue to have self-restraint for a while, seeing familiar faces online occasionally will boost your spirits.

In online interactions, it's better to show your face. If you don't show your face, your likability will remain low. Showing your face might lead to concerns about makeup, worrying about appearing without makeup, etc. That's a good thing. Encounters begin from being mindful of others' opinions. You might also worry about your background showing too much of your room, and other such concerns. However, being mindful of others will unknowingly energize you.

Even if you initially don't know people well, if friends or colleagues invite you to online gatherings, and you see the same people repeatedly, you'll likely become somewhat familiar with them online. You might find someone you're mutually attracted to within these online gatherings.